Top 12 nutty government epetitions

Here are my top 12 nutty petitions with 10 or more signatures

1)Bring in lashing as a punishment (5,10,20,30,40, 50-100 lashes per crime)

Votes: 21  (There is c.500 on other ‘capital punishment’ petitions)

Comment: We do not live in the 19th Century, we do not get press ganged onto wooden ships and suffer with scurvy. The cat o’ nine tails is hard to get these days.

Verdict: Nutty and dangerous
2)Hoodies should be banned

Votes: 89

Comment: Hard luck if it rains, possible boost to umbrella sales?

Verdict: Truly nutty 
3)Return to ‘Splendid Isolationalism’

Votes: 10

Comment: 100 hundred years out of date. Is there any country apart from North Korea (that well known liberal democracy) which could be called isolated? Unless you advocate the Cuban ‘Leninist’ style government?

Verdict: rather odd 

Votes: 281

Comment: Really missing the real issue of particulate matter from industry and mostly from cars. This has been proved to reduce life expectancy in cities.

Verdict: distracting conspiracy theory


5)Abolish Islam in the UK

Votes: 273

Comment: Did you know that officially under Islam any religion is welcome to worship at a mosque. Christanity, Judaism and Islam are basically all relations of the same religious family (but don’t tell anyone; we don’t want peace and it doesn’t sell newspapers)

Verdict: nutty


6)I believe God can heal

Votes: 2930

Comment: So will you be forgoing any NHS treatment? Having a faith may make you feel happier and you may heal faster with support from  friends BUT it is no replacement for medical treatment. N.B. see homeopathy for similar

Verdict: potentially dangerous

Votes: 11

Comment: Refreshingly different but I don’t want to be in my late 30s before I can move abroad!

Verdict: bit harsh 
8)Ban All Fireworks That Have Bangs <

Votes: 46

Comment: Why specifically only the ones that have bangs? are you going measure the DB of every bang?

Verdict: There is no halfway house with fireworks
9)Introduce A 99p Coin

Votes: 15

Comment: Allegedly this would save the amount of small change in the economy but you could just get rid of the debased copper instead?

Verdict: funny
10)Abolition of money>

Votes: 60

Comment: Trade in some form has always existed, if you get rid of money then something else will replace it. How we share money, equality, control and sustainability; Now thats what we need to talk about.

Verdict: bit extreme?
11)Stonehenge Ancestors

Votes: 693

Comment: A petition by someone claiming to be a head druid. He just as likely to be a descendent as Sheffield University  Part of a wider debate over perceptions, mythology and actual culture/science.

Verdict: harmlessly strange 
12)Abolish BBC Three

Votes: 29

Comment: The petition states  “Given the tough financial climate, and the necessary cuts to the BBC, it is surely time to prioritise its better quality programming. BBC Three is a waste of taxpayers’ money, and there is no justification for licence fee money going towards endless repeats of ‘Family Guy’, ludicrous shows such as “Snog Marry Avoid?” and “World’s Craziest Fools”, and rubbish sitcoms that come and go without trace. Not to mention pseudo-reality programming including “Jamie: Drag Queen at 16”, “My Life As An Animal”, “Geordie Finishing School for Girls”, and “Danny Dyer: I believe in UFOs”.

Verdict: Funny and not far off the truth

Some of my favourite petitions include:

public hanging for those who propose public hanging    


Grant a pardon to Alan Turing

Reject wrongly spelled e-petitions

Bring Back Spitting Image TV Show

Other interesting ones are:

No millionaires in government
Tempted by this one but is that truly democratic?

BBC weather map of UK to be accurately sized
I have relatives who get equally annoyed when the BBC whizzes over where they live as they live on a border! My personal pet hate is the dull grey, why can’t we have  a nicer geographical green, brown and blue?

Don’t listen to idiots signing e-petitions 
338 votes so far… but do we listen to them?

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